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Breaking a Marriage is Not a Solution: Embracing a Non-Dualistic Perspective

Harmony in Marriage: Embracing a Non-Dualistic Perspective for Lasting Bonds

This essay presents a thoughtful and insightful perspective on the challenges of contemporary marriage and how non-dualistic philosophies can provide a valuable framework for approaching and resolving these challenges.


Marriage is a bond that joins a pair of individuals on a journey of companionship, progress, and shared experiences. It is an institution with deep roots in history and culture. But because of the difficulties of modern life, many couples think about divorcing one another as a way to overcome their problems. Even if every circumstance is different, it’s crucial to consider the possibility that dissolving a marriage isn’t always the wisest course of action.

Non-dualistic ancient philosophies can provide a new perspective in times of difficulty. This method encourages partners to work through their differences by strengthening their sense of solidarity and mutual understanding. A humanistic strategy that prioritizes comprehension, empathy, and personal development can provide a way to resolve conflicts without resorting to divorce. 

Unity and Non-Dualistic Philosophy:

Non-dualistic ideologies, found in a wide range of historic traditions, hold that everything is related, and that differences of culture, caste, or faith are artificial. This point of view encompasses all of one’s connections, with the marriage bond being especially emphasized. Conflicts may be addressed with empathy and a common goal if we see our partner as an extension of ourselves.

Consider a couple facing financial strain. A dualistic mindset would blame it, but non-dualism sees it as a shared challenge. They collaborate, viewing the problem as a collective responsibility, fostering unity and shared growth.

Understanding the Complexity of Marriage

Marriage is a multifaceted connection that calls for commitment on many levels. Both partners experience happy and sad times together. Realize that every relationship has its ups and downs. Though trying, difficulties like these may be opportunities for growth and a better marriage. With the help of empathy and understanding, couples may work through these challenges and come out stronger.

Take a married couple experiencing a rift. They adopt a non-dualistic viewpoint, perceiving the difficulty as an opportunity for development. Counselling and other forms of open communication can pave the way to a deeper understanding between partners.

  Adopting Effective Communication:

Communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship. Misunderstandings and a lack of open dialogue are common causes of marital strife. To reconcile disagreements and identify areas of agreement, humanistic ideals place a premium on open dialogue and attentive listening. When couples give each other the space to express their thoughts and concerns, they are better able to work through their issues and reduce the need for drastic action.

Non-dualistic communication techniques, such as mindful listening, making needs clear, avoiding blame, embracing vulnerability, and non-defensive responses, can help couples create an environment where talking is valued, understanding is valued, and disagreements are seen as chances to connect and grow.

Cultivating Equanimity in Adversity:

Equanimity is a non-dualistic principle that encourages being at peace with oneself, no matter what’s going on around you. Marriages always have their ups and downs. Emotional reactions that may otherwise intensify confrontations are mitigated via the practice of equanimity, allowing for clear and calm discussion of these concerns.

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Developing Empathy and Compassion:

Humanistic beliefs highlight the significance of seeing things from another person’s perspective. This means empathizing with your partner’s experiences, emotions, and challenges inside the marriage. When one partner in a relationship is able to empathize with the other, it might encourage the couple to work together to find solutions that will make them both happy.

Transcending Ego for Collective Well-Being:

Commitment to Personal Growth:

Marriage isn’t only about two people coming together: it’s also about the growth of each spouse throughout the course of the union. Opportunities for introspection and growth may present themselves in the face of new obstacles. Humanistic ideas encourage people to accept their flaws and do their part to help a relationship thrive.  

Preserving Family Wholeness:

A non-dualistic worldview encourages us to see our families as holistic units, where each member’s happiness is intrinsically linked to the group’s success. Maintaining this integrity is a deliberate act that brings about harmony and peace for all involved.

Seeking professional guidance:

When problems in a marriage appear insurmountable, a humanistic approach suggests seeking help from a professional counsellor or therapist. These professionals may aid couples in improving their communication and self-awareness in order to put an end to their arguments. They have the potential to spark conversations that lead to deeper understanding and, ultimately, peace.

Maintaining the Family Unit:

Marriage is a common means by which families are started. The relationships between parents have a significant impact on children. Divorce changes the makeup of families in many ways, and from a humanistic perspective, we should take that into account. It suggests that, in order to provide a secure and caring environment for their children, parents should try to fix their relationship amicably before opting to divorce.


Holistic Path of Lifelong Love and Loyalty:

Divorce should only be contemplated in extreme circumstances, such as when there has been abuse, substantial injury, or intractable disagreements. Humanism is a worldview that places a premium on honesty, compassion, and self-improvement. It is also crucial to get help from professionals when you need it and to treat the commitment seriously. By embracing these humanistic ideals and looking at difficulties as learning experiences, married couples may strengthen and improve their bond while also helping to create a more empathetic and accepting culture.

By incorporating non-dualistic ideas, couples are better able to resolve their disputes and strengthen their marriage. Couples that embrace unity, serenity, empathy, and compassion are better able to overcome challenges without damaging the sacredness of their connection. The sage advice of long-gone thinkers tells us that marriage may be a means of personal growth for both partners if arguments are discussed and resolved rationally rather than resulting in a breakup. By taking this tack, we may encourage social cohesion and celebrate the similarity that lurks underneath our differences.

6 thoughts on “Breaking a Marriage is Not a Solution: Embracing a Non-Dualistic Perspective”

  1. In folders days they didnt divorce, they just married again, or kept concubines. ….apart from Ashoka the great and a few other almost all kings of india had multiple wives and concubines

    1. True. In historical contexts, divorce was less common, with alternatives like remarriage or maintaining concubines being prevalent. Many ancient Indian kings, barring exceptions like Ashoka the Great, embraced polygamy, reflecting the diverse marital practices of their times.
      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

  2. I agree, Arun, we need to try all possible ways to maintain intimacy and mutual understanding in marriage, to restore calm and peace.
    But I cannot support restrictions on divorce. Limitations cannot cover all conceivable cases in which divorce may be required, and this creates hopelessness, despair and unhappy families. Then people stop living in the truth, and begin to live in a lie.
    This cannot be allowed. A person should be happy.

    At the same time, I admit that if two people are really interested in restoring a happy marriage, then this is possible. But the last resort – divorce – should always remain available.


    1. Good afternoon Olga ☀️
      I fully agree with your views.
      Divorce is good for both when it is unavoidable.
      But I have seen few couples who have undergone an unhappy life after divorce. Even they wanted to return back but it was not possible for them due to the second marriage of either or both. That I have seen personally.
      What I have written is based on my life experiences.
      I could have explained you better if we were in the same location sitting both together in a place😀.
      It is true that both should be happy. Happy people are always blessed 😊
      They have a beautiful and intelligent mind.
      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts.
      Have a blissful evening and happy weekend 😀
      Regards 😊🙏

      1. There must be education, within which it is necessary to explain the values of marriage, the roles and functions of spouses, their responsibilities, and the extent of responsibility. This should be done not only in the family, but society as a whole should consider these issues significant and inform the younger generation about them.
        Then the existing freedom to divorce will not lead to such dire consequences as it does today.

        Thanks for your reply, Arun.


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